Reasons
by JD11
Summary: And that’s when it happened. Sometime between tickling her and her hands batting mine away, her smile had faltered and she was leaning forward. And that’s how I know now that her lips are much softer than I ever imagined. 10/Rose
1. Snogging

**Reasons**

It seemed innocent enough in the beginning. Rose had mentioned that she'd never been hiking before and, of course me being me, I was convinced that it was my duty to rectify that.

So I brought her here- to Omega VII- a planet with one continent completely shrouded in trees and valleys and the perfect hiking trails. No people, no dangerous wild animals, just trees, plants, small lakes, and us. We'd been hiking for about a half an hour- sometimes climbing because she claimed that it was part of the experience, but mostly strolling hand in hand along the naturally carved out paths.

It was when we were a good twenty minutes from the TARDIS that she asked to stop and rest for a minute. There was an old, fallen tree just off the path and she led me over there. The diameter of the trunk was massive and I couldn't help but laugh when she had trouble hoisting herself up. But she managed- wobbly at first before she managed to steady herself. I hopped up next to her- my trainers weren't exactly designed for hiking.

And that was the stupid move that led us here. We were just sitting there, talking about everything and nothing and the woods and hiking and her mum and the places we had been and the places we were going. And, of course, I let slip a funny anecdote about the time I had been on Larotus and her face broke out into that beaming smile that always manages to warm my hearts. And I'm finding that this regeneration's Achilles' heal is her laugh, because once I've managed to make her laugh, I can't stop. And so I detailed to her every funny story about any planet that came to mind and I had her in stitches as she laughed and bumped my shoulder and claimed that I was pulling her leg. And I knew that the minute I turned and gave her the cheeky smile this body is so good at, she was going to smack me. And she did, hard enough in fact that I lost my balance on the tree trunk; the only thing that I could do was hop to the ground. She laughed harder at that and so I retaliated. Immediately my hands were at her sides because I know that that is where she is unbearably ticklish.

And that's when it happened, I think. Sometime between tickling her and her hands batting mine away, her smile had faltered and she was leaning forward. And that's how I know now that her lips are much softer than I ever imagined. They're warm and subtle, and right now they're teasing my lips with their presence.

Like I said, I'm really not sure how this happened. I said that it wasn't going to. That it couldn't. I have rules about such things.

But now her hands are roaming up my back and I almost regret that the true sensation is lost somewhere between all the layers of clothing. She's becoming bolder, growing past the shyness when I didn't pull away. She's pulling me closer, pressing me more firmly between her legs. I'm not touching her- I can't. My hands are resting on top of the decaying bark.

Maybe this should happen- it was almost inevitable. Maybe we came here for a reason. And maybe I'm just going insane, confused by the magnificent pressure of her lips against mine.

She shifts against me and I can't control the sigh that escapes my lips. So I reach for her hops, holding her body where it is. Her tongue is darting out, tasting me, caressing my lip but I don't let her in.

Because I know better. I know why I've always said that this won't happen with any of them. Because it can't. Because it shouldn't. Because I don't want them like that. Because it will just make it harder to say no.

Her hands are in my hair, tossing it, roaming through it, massaging the tense muscles. And then they're roaming across my jaw, cupping my cheek, and angling my face lower so she can switch her attention from my lower lip to my top.

And maybe this isn't so bad. Maybe I could learn to understand and even want Human intimacy. Maybe she could understand-

Suddenly she's grinding against me again, ignoring the strength of my grip, and I can't do anything but moan into the kiss. She's smiling against my lips as her tongue snakes passed. Then she's taking her time, driving me crazy as she explores and tastes very inch, every bit of flesh and teeth. And I find myself returning the attention, letting my tongue dance against hers and peak into her mouth.

And I want to hate myself, because I know better than to encourage her. I know that I'm toying with her feeling and leading her on. I know that this is wrong.

But I can't stop my hands from running up the sides of her body. I could feel her sigh against my lips as my hands grazed her breasts. And then my fingers were tangling themselves into her hair and pulling her to me, deepening the kiss.

And yet it feels so good. So much better than I ever imagined it would.

It's been a long time since I've reacted physically to a woman- a long time. And it's only taken a kiss and Rose's hands roaming over me to make me start feeling hard.

I should pull away. I should stop this before she notices, before she tries to push this further. I should, because I know that if she did, I wouldn't stop her.

And that's when her hands move lower, sliding over the lapels of my jacket and dipping under it. I can't help but suck in a breath as I realize what she's about to do.

And maybe I should let her do it. Maybe I'm blowing the consequences out of proportion. Maybe…

Logic finally wins out and I cup her cheek, letting myself suck on her lower lip for just a moment longer before I force myself to pull away from her. She's breathless as she bits her lip, eyes looking up at me beneath her long lashes. Her look's seductive and she's even a bit shy about it and I need to scold myself to keep from leaning in and kissing her again and letting her push this further.

I do know better. There's a reason why I said I would never become intimate with my companions. Just because I can't think of a single reason on the entire list doesn't mean I should just ignore them all.

She's resting her head against the crook of my neck. I almost missed the soft pressure of her lips brushing against my pulse. I rub her back, holding her to me, helping to keep her balance on the tree trunk.

I can only hope that she understands. That she knows that I don't do this with anyone, that I have reasons that I'll never tell her about. I hope she knows that this was a one time thing. It was an inevitability of time mixed with a delicate bit of friendly atmosphere.

That's all.

I step back, letting her hop off the tree trunk. We don't say anything as she slips her hand into mine. I squeeze it lightly. She'll want to talk as soon as we're back in the TARDIS or a couple of hours later while we're in the vortex. She's Human and if we don't "talk about it", it'll drive her mad.

That's reason number thirty-seven: Snogging and shagging inevitably lead to a very awkward conversation about all the reasons.

/-

This was basically a re-write of my creative writing final. Hope you all liked it! Cheers, JD


	2. Reason Number Twenty Seven

_Author's Note: _This one went in a completely different direction than I thought it would. Hope you like it!

/-/-

"So where are we off to next? Barlox 12? Oh! Famora- great shopping. Or we could go- never mind, horrid weather there. Trust me. Or we could just pop back to London for the afternoon. Sure your mum would love that."

I could only sigh then. I knew that stony, silent look. She wasn't paying any attention to me. Her mind was off somewhere else- that forest, to be exact.

She wants to talk.

"Or we could not go anywhere."

But instead of talking, she just nods, letting me know that we're not going anywhere this afternoon, and retreats into the maze of the TARDIS. I know better than to go after her. First of all, she wants her space to think. Secondly, I really don't want to have this conversation. And thirdly, I have the nasty suspicion that the TARDIS likes Rose more than me at times and, if Rose doesn't want to be found, I'll never find her.

So I just stay in the control room, finding things to tinker with, systems that could be better calibrated, corners that have needed dusting for decades. And, eventually, when even I can't find another thing to do in that room, I make my way into the back with the intention of putting the kettle on.

She's beaten me to it, though. I can hear the kettle screaming and then simmer, she's obviously taken it off the burner. I stop just outside, careful to keep her from hearing me. I feel foolish. I'm a nine-hundred year old Time Lord and I'm afraid of facing a twenty year old Human concerning a single kiss. Okay, so it was a bit more than a single kiss. We snogged. She'll get over it. I'll get over it. We can both move on- right?

She's nursing a mug between her hands. Her feet are propped up on the table, her elbows resting on her knees, the hot water warming her nose with its steam. Her eyes are focused solely on some invisible point and she doesn't notice me as I walk in. Maybe that's a good thing. I just let her continue to think as I pour myself a cup, stirring in two teaspoons of sugar. She still hasn't noticed me. I drop into the chair across from her. Her eyes finally flicker, as if something has disturbed her, and finally she's looking up at me.

I'm not good with living through consequences. I don't stick around after I've saved the world. I don't return after a companion has left. I added that last reason because I'm crap when it comes to discussing things of this nature.

"I'm sorry." Well, that's not exactly how I thought she'd start this conversation. "For kissing you back there. That was stupid. I just sort of… forgot myself."

And, after a moment, she's smiling, but only, I think, because I'm smiling at her.

"You weren't the only one."

"I noticed."

I shouldn't smile. I shouldn't encourage her. But she's got that lecherous gleam in her eyes and she's nibbling on her bottom lip. It's impossible not to.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Have you ever had a relationship with one of your companions before?"

Figures that would be the question. "No."

"Not ever?"

"Not like you mean."

"Why not?"

Why not? That's the billion dollar question, isn't it? For all those reasons. For all the rules that I've forced myself to believe in and hold so tightly to. "For lots of reasons."

She's disappointed by that answer, but I'm not exactly prepared to ramble off the complete list.

But then her entire presence shifts and she smirking up at me. That can't be good.

"Am I the first one you've snogged, then?"

I can't help but laugh at the youthful laughter in her voice. Oh, I'm sure she'd like to hear the stories about the few brief glimpses of romance I've had with my companions… On second thought, she probably wouldn't. "No."

"No?"

She wants more- I guess that I was wrong then. But this is hardly the time to start strolling down memory lane.

"You're not a virgin though, right?"

And that I laugh at, chuckle at more like. "You think after nine-hundred years I've never had sex?"

"Well it's not like I know anything about your sex life. For all I know, you're not even the male of your species… wait, are you?"

I have to force myself to breath to keep from bursting into a fit of giggles at the sheer terror and innocence in her voice. "Is that a problem?" And then I can't help the laughter and I'm prepared when she reaches across the table to smack me on my arm. "And, yes, I've had some sexual relationships."

"Just not with companions."

Not with companions.

Oh, I hate that tone of hers. That sighing tone, the one that says she's thinking too much again.

"No."

"Because…"

"Because it's not a good idea."

"Why not?"

Why not? For so many reasons. Because it will complicate things and muck up the relationship. Because it will only make it harder when she finally leaves- because she will, it's not a possibility, it's a certainty. When and how and why are the only differences from one companion to the next. Because I've lived forty-five times her life and I will live much longer after she succumbs to age. Because she's young and impressionable. Because she'll think whatever happens means more than it does. Because I don't know how to be involved with a Human, not like that. Because I can't offer her everything she would want. But mostly because my people are more focused on the emotional, the connection, and not the physical. We don't crave sex like Humans.

"Doctor?" She's reached across the table and her fingers have wrapped around mine, pulling me back to reality. "Why not?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

And I knew that, long before we ever started this conversation, but that doesn't mean I have an answer yet.

"Rose, can I ask you something? You don't have to answer."

"Sure. What is it?"

I don't know why I'm asking it, but this body is just so damn curious. "If I were any other bloke- just some guy you met at a pub in London… what would you do?"

I can see the amusement flash in her eyes and the smile that tugs at her lips as she looks away from me. "I would hope that this hypothetical normal you would offer me a drink. We would probably talk for a while, flirt a little, and I would probably have given you my mobile number before I left."

"Then what?"

"Dunno," she smiling because to her this is just a silly game, "Waited, nervously, for you to ring me and ask me out. Somewhere fun, knowing you. And sometime after that date, I probably would have jumped you." She smirking now, with her tongue peaking out from between her teeth like it always does.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Cause you're foxy." And she says it in a voice that I've never heard before. It's a voice that's somewhere between teasing and seductive and I'm not really sure how to take her statement. But, then again, she's never let me forget about what Cassandra thought of me.

That's why I smiled at her. I really need to end this conversation and stop encouraging her. But we're too far into this.

"Thing is, I'm not just some bloke you'd meet in a pub."

"No." She's doing that thing with her eyebrows when she's confused and trying to work something out. "Where is this going?"

My hand is raking through my hair, making it messier. New nervous habit, now that I actually have hair. "I'm just trying to say that… well I'm not like men you know. I'm not Human."

That didn't come out right. I'm rubbish at this. She just kind of squints at me and wait for clarification.

Well, I guess I might as well explain. This conversation will never end if I don't.

"On Gallifrey, we stopped reproducing the natural way thousands of years before I was born. Generation of us were… created, I guess. All genetics. We have sex, but we don't need it. It's not a biological imperative any more."

I'm not sure if that's helped explain anything to her, but at least it's satisfied a drop of her curiosity about my planet.

"Humans have needs. You lust after each other. We don't. I don't… really experience lust. It's very rare."

She leans away, as if distance will help her to drink in what I've told her. She's quiet for a while, but her eyes stay on me. I can't look away. I can only hold my breath, waiting. Waiting for anything. Any indication that she understands or doesn't understand or something. Anything but thoughtful silence.

"I doubt that's true. Doctor."

Cheeky little bugger, she is. "You think?"

"I think," she leans forward, arching her back so she can stare up at me. Her tongue is curving around her teeth as she smiles. "That you've just never met someone who makes you horny, is all. When you have thousands of years to choose, I guess you have time to be picky."

Oh, is she impudent. But sexy as hell.

Right, not encouraging. I'm the older, more responsible one. It's my responsibility to end this.

"I'll bet that I can prove you wrong."

Of all the places I thought this conversation might go, there was not one of them.

"Oh yeah?"

Encouragement! Why does this new mouth never listen?

"Yeah."

"And how are you going to do that?"

And so curious too! Why?

Her lips curl upwards and that mysterious spark unnerves me just a bit. She's standing, her cooled tea long forgotten. One hand reaches out for mine and, as I take it, I look up at her face. She had started out so bold, so sexy and in control, but now she looks more her age. Her bottom lip is sucked in and she's nibbling at it thoughtfully. Her eyes still have that unknown spark but it's been tamed by the uncertainty slowly clouding her face.

I really do know better. I know where we're about to take this and I know why we shouldn't. And yet I find myself squeezing her hand, even smiling in encouragement.

Well, there goes rule number one.


	3. Falling Over the Abyss

_Author's Note: _Just to make sure that everyone is aware, the rating has been upped. This is now definitely an adult fic. You have been warned.

/-/-

I can't tell which of us is feeling more awkward about this entire situation. Because I can tell, even as she continues to lead me to my room- which the TARDIS was kind enough to move closer to the kitchen- that she's starting to wonder what possessed her to proposition me like that. Mostly it's because she's not looking at me, her face is even a little flushed and I can't help but wonder what she's thinking about.

Okay, I knew my hearing was improved- not improved so much as… really, really good- this time around, but god! Every breath she expels is magnified throughout the room and every beat of her pounding heart echoes in my ears. She's nervous, terrified really. I can't help but smile at her, squeezing her hand to let her know that we don't have to do this.

That's when she turns and something else has replaced the look of awkward embarrassment. It's foreign on her face, but it is sexy as hell. Oh bloody hell. Her eyes are darker, focusing on me. Her smile is not the one I've grown accustomed to, it's the same as back in the kitchen, lecherous and tempting. I don't really care what emotion it is because I'm far more intrigued by the way the light plays with her eyes and the smile is tempting me to move closer.

But she decides for me. Her tongue snakes over her lips as she reaches out for my tie, tugging and making me step closer. Reminds me of Cassandra- not a very pleasing imagine at this moment.

She surprises me, though, because I was so sure that she was going to kiss me. Instead her fingers are pulling at the knot in my tie, loosening it enough to pull it off. And then her hands have dipped under the lapels of my jacket, sliding it off slowly, making a seduction of it. And the whole time her eyes have never left mine. There's confidence in them, the kind of confidence that an experienced woman has when she's got a man right where she wants him. But she bits her lip just as the jacket fall past my hands and the façade is gone as the doubt slips forward. I know she's waiting for me to stop her.

Hell, I'm waiting for me to stop her! But this new body is so bloody curious that I can't seem to convince myself that this shouldn't be happening. But I don't stop her and she takes that as some kind of encouragement.

It's amazing that after all the sexual encounters I have had, this is the first time that I don't know what to do. So, like the idiot I am, I just stand there, helping her to undress me. My shirt was next to go; I hate to admit that I was actually disappointed when all she did was look, her mouth curving into a smile and her tongue twisting off to the side. There are much better uses for that tongue.

She made quick work of my trousers and my trainers and I have to admit that I feel like a right arse just standing there, completely exposed to her. I have no idea what's going through her mind right now. She seems… lost, maybe? Like she has no idea what she's going to do with me now that's she got me naked. I can't help but chuckle at that thought.

"What's so funny?"

"This whole situation, I guess."

She bits her lip and I know she agrees, even if she won't admit it.

"So what now?" I still forget at times that that airy, teasing voice is truly mine. She just smirks up at me. This could be interesting.

No, no, no! Not interesting. This is bad, very bad. What I really should be doing right now is picking up my clothes and leaving as fast as possible.

Not thinking about the easiest way to go about taking her clothes off.

Is that me sighing? My eyes are closed and my mouth is definitely opened. And all she's done is rest her palms against my chest. That's one thing about this new body that I can't quite decide on- it's so sensitive to new sensations, every sense still unbearably heightened. Usually I find that helpful, but right now…

I can feel every contour of her hands sliding against my chest, every follicle of hair that's disturbed in their wake, every warm gust of air that passing her lips and reaches my skin. Her hands are moving higher, wrapping around my neck and twisting into my hair and finally her lips have brushed mine and her body is pressing fully against mine. I hardly even noticed that I was groaning except for the fact that she was smiling into my lips and digging her hands more firmly into my hair. I really wish now that I had taken the time to remove her clothes-

Oh, bugger, I really should stop this.

Except I can't because now her lips are just a fraction of an inch away from mine and every flutter of her breath is a new sensation all of its own and she's rocking her hips against me, just enough friction from her jeans to make me moan.

"Told you you'd like it."

"Never said I wouldn't." Oh, why did I say that? Why? Idiot!

She's giggling a little and once again my lips are screaming for attention. My body's a little more keen on giving them what they want than I am, but that's never stopped it before and suddenly I'm leaning closer to her, trying to press my mouth to hers, but she pulls away, biting her lip and smiling as one hand covers my mouth.

I cock an eyebrow at her, hoping that my curiosity is enough to get her to explain herself, but it doesn't work.

Her hands are on my shoulders, walking me backwards, pushing me down onto the mattress.

"This isn't really fair, you know," I tell her as I prop myself up on my elbows, shifting to get comfortable on the bed. She just looks down at me, still standing, "Me stark naked and you haven't bothered to return the favour."

She just laughs a little at that, but I'm serious. If she gets to have me naked and at her mercy, I at least want something out of it. She kicks off her trainers as I watch her and, just as casually, her shirt is thrown over her head and lands somewhere behind her. She doesn't bother with her jeans, just lies down besides me.

"Better?"

"Marginally."

And that's when it started. She's dragging the tips of her fingers over my chest and I can't breathe. So sensitive, this body. So aware of everything. And she's toying with me- taking her time to tease and stroke and kiss every nerve and make them burn and tingle and long for her continued touch.

I can't account for every kiss and every stroke, I just know that after a while of surviving her tantalizing strokes, I was on top of her, kissing her and holding her to me and all the while knowing how horrifically bad this idea really is. But that doesn't stop us, not now.

And I know that it's a really bad idea to let my fingers caress her temple. I almost convince myself to pull my hand away until she moaned, the sound escaping her when her legs wrap around me and my cock grazes her entrance. I can't help myself. My lips descend on hers just as I lunge into her and then she's surrounding me- her thoughts, her sensations, her presence, her scent, her body- and we're shuddering against each other as I begin to move within her.

I know that I'll hate myself in the morning. I'll hate what I've done and how I've ignored the biggest rule of my existence- the only rule that I haven't broken, until now.

Because this is wrong, for so many reasons. So many reasons that I can't remember, because I can't think right now. I can only focus on the small patch of skin on my neck that's being assaulted by her lips and her tongue and her teeth and even her soft gasps of breath.

There's a fleeting thought about the reasons and the consequences tucked in the back of my mind and I suspect that maybe they're not all mine, but there isn't time to think on that because her heart is pounding even harder and her gasped breathes are become shorter and more urgent. She's teetering over the precipice. So close, so close, and so good. It feels so good, it's hard to remember why I would even say no to this.

I have to watch her face. My hand cups her cheek, leading her face out of my shoulder. Her eyes are hooded and her mouth parted into an adorable 'O'. Her face scrunches as entire body tightens beneath me. She's moaning and even my name slips past her lips and her hands are gripping my shoulders and the sensation of her body and mind tumbling into the abyss drag me over as well.


	4. Skirts

_Author's Note: _So I just realized that I posted the wrong chapter yesterday. Yeah, so the chapter that was posted yesterday as chapter 4 is now chapter 5 and this is the correct chapter 4. Lucky you, getting two chapters in two days. Hopefully this will help with some comments in the next chapter. So sorry about that; I can honestly say that I've never done anything like that before.

Enjoy!

/-/-

I wasn't there when she woke up. I think she got the hint because she hasn't mentioned it. Not once. Which I find odd.

It's been four days and not once has she hounded me to talk, or flaunted her victory over me, or even tried to discuss our future. Whether there is a future for us in that sense. Hell, she doesn't even seem to be walking on egg shells around me. I'm just the Doctor and she's just Rose and we're just travelling explores who are apparently not at all affected by the absence or presence of sex.

And maybe if the circumstances were different than I would just say that I've been completely wrong about Human women for centuries. But, as it is, I doubt that I was that colossally misguided.

And I've come to that final decision mostly because Rose has just walked into the control room.

Okay, so normally that wouldn't really mean anything on any normal day. Nothing to get excited about. Except, you have to understand, that today I took her to the twenty-seventh century Earth, known for great clothes, lots of stores, and "excellent" shopping. If you're following me, then you've gathered that Rose had the opportunity to buy a wardrobe full of new clothes without me really paying attention to what it is that she bought. She had just gone off to her room to change into something as I took us into the vortex.

She's wearing the shortest skirt I've ever seen in my entire life. It's really not hiding much. She's wearing… some kind of shoes that I don't know the name to but they're incredible. I'm not exactly a legs man but, from this angle, I can see why some men are. This skirt leaves an expanse of skin, a trail that leads up over her muscular calves, dipping across the smooth skin on the back of her knee and rising again until it disappears beneath the material. But it's tight- magnificently tight- and leaves very little to the imagination as to what it's hiding.

Oh god, I'm staring at her arse! What the hell am I doing?

There's got to be something that I should be doing. There's, em… yeah, and em… I should really…

"So what's the plan for the rest of the day, Doctor?"

Finding out just what is under-

"Em… I really didn't have any plans." I think my voice squeaked. I'm almost positive that it did. Oh god, she's smirking. It did.

"No?"

"Nope. You? Any ideas?"

Her fingertips are stroking the console as she saunters around it, coming closer to me. I think something might be wrong with the TARDIS's environmental controls because I'm suddenly getting really hot. And the air feels thinner- I'm not sure my lungs are working right. I can't quite seem to catch my breath. My pulse is getting faster- yep, hearts are definitely beating about twice as fast as they should be. Something's got to be wrong. I, em, I should fix that. If I could remember how.

"I didn't really have any plans. I was thinking about reading for a while before I took my shower. Then off to bed, I guess."

Rose in a shower. That pale expanse of naked skin, water beating down on it, caressing her skin. Lucky water.

Oh god. What the hell am I thinking? Focus. Focus.

Am I getting aroused? Yes, that's definitely… definitely what that feels like. Rose in a short skirt is making me aroused. She hasn't even touched me or… stripped or anything. This is new.

"You?"

"Me what?"

"You got any plans?"

Shagging you on the console. Oi! Down boy.

"I, em… I… no, not really."

Oh god, she's sitting on the console. Oh… how does she cross her legs like that and make it so… so, whatever it is.

Oh god, I'm lusting over her! I'm lusting after a human. I'm lusting, period. That's… that doesn't happen.

I'm losing my mind. That's it. I've gone completely nutters. They'll just have to lock me away before I do something stupid.

"You okay, Doctor?"

"Hmm?" I was staring. Definitely staring.

"You look a little out of shorts."

"Oh-" Wait, that's laughter in her eyes. She's amused by this. That cheeky little bugger planned this whole thing. No wonder she hasn't tried to talk about this to me, she's still playing her little game. Well two can play at that.

My feet fall from the console with a loud thud on the floor. She just glances down at them but I can see the tinge of curiosity painted on her face as I start to push myself out of my chair.

"I'm fine. Just thinking."

"About what?" Her brows cocked and she smirking at me.

I take a step closer, bringing my lower body just a fraction of an inch away from her bare legs. I can help but smile as I catch her eyes; she's biting her lip, expecting my reply. "Just thinking about how to increase the flow of the temporal stabilizersto the dimensional quantifiers."

"Dimensional quantifiers?"

"Yep." She wasn't expecting that. "Should be pretty easy. Keep up from ending up in the wrong place as often as we do. Just have to adjust this here-" I lean around her, making sure to graze my arm against hers as I reach for a knob behind her. "And then this-" I lean the other way, making sure that my hips drag across her legs as I reach around her on the other side and twist another knob. I haven't moved my other hand and now she's trapped between the two of them.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Why didn't you do it before."

"Didn't think of it before."

"You thought of it just now."

I shrug. Why not? I am brilliant after all. I get spontaneously brilliant thoughts. But not right now. Right now I can't really think because with her legs trapped between my hips, it's creating a wonderful bit of friction and I'm even more aware now of how little clothing she's wearing than before.

I think she's starting to get the idea of what I'm doing because she's shifting her legs- uncrossing them actually- and I can tell that she's not taking care to keep from brushing up against me. I kind of wish that she wasn't watching me because that means she definitely noticed my sharp intake of breath and how hooded my eyes must look.

I think it's been a fantasy of hers since I changed bodies to grab my tie and kiss me because she's tugging slowly on it, smirking up at me.

"Temporal stabilizer, huh?"

"Yeah."

"So what does that do exactly?"

"Stabilize temporal things."

Stabilizes temporal things? Brilliant. Maybe I should add this as a reason: Lust makes one's mind completely useless.

"Fascinating."

"Quite."

Oh, she's going to string this along as long as she has to, isn't she? She still plans on proving that I am capable of lust and so she wants me to initiate this whole thing.

And oh god am I capable of lust.

I can't take this any more.

No, no, no, no, no…

"So how did turning those knobs help?"

Help…

She is close. So tempting.

No, focus on what she's saying. What did the knobs do? "They, em…"

Oh sod it.

Finally, for the first time I can remember, I'm actually acting on a completely foreign emotion. I know what it's like to be attracted or to physically want someone, but not this. Not this pulsing desire, this wanting need. This I'm not prepared to understand. Maybe it's easier not to try to understand it just yet.

And that's why my hands are blinding dragging their way up her thighs and my lips are ravishing her lips- and yes, it's ravishing, but it's one of the most passionate kisses I've ever experienced. And her hands are in my hair and our tongues are battling against each other for dominance and I'm already feeling the burning need for air but I can't seem to stop myself.

And neither can she because already her hands are slipping beneath the lapels of my jacket. I really should stop her. I should step away and straighten my jacket. I should walk away. Instead I let go of her hips just long enough for her to get my jacket off before my hands are on her hips again.

Shit. I think her shirt was a lot more delicate than I thought it was. I hope she doesn't get mad if I ripped it but right now that doesn't matter because the only thing separating me from her delectable breasts is this thin, lacy number.

But she doesn't let me take the time to properly admire her because her hands have pulled my face to hers and I would be mad at her but I'm too busy focusing on what she's doing with her tongue to care. This is one of the few times that I'm glad my hands have a mind of their own because they're moving down over her shoulders and fumbling to figure out the ridiculous clasp.

Finally there's bare skin and my hands are on her and she moans. It's enough of a distraction to pull away from her lips and trail over her jaw and down her neck, before finally I can flick my tongue over her nipple. Her groan sends blood rushing straight down.

Oh, this is so not supposed to happen. But her hands are so distracting. She's tugging me back up, kissing me full on. She's finally working the buttons on my shirt.

"How many shirts are you wearing?"

"Just these two."

Same as always, but I guess it's a bit of a detriment considering.

She's ripping the shirt from my shoulders and I pull it off my wrists for her. Her hands are already struggling to undo my belt and then she's tugging my shirt from my trousers.

Oh god. Her hands shouldn't feel this good.

Her lips are so close to my ear. Her breath is enough to make me shiver. "You're so sensitive."

"New body."

My hands are resting on her thighs now, pushing them apart a little more. She's whimpering against the feel of my thumb running over her heat. God how I'd love to kneel between her but I don't think that I can wait much longer. That can wait.

Wait? No, no next time. No waiting. This is it. One last romp.

Mmm, she's so wet already. God, why am I such a stick in the mud?

I hope she didn't want that pair of pants because ripping them off was definitely the only way to get ride of them. I hope her chuckling at me is a good indication that she's just as eager as I am.

She's smirking at me with her tongue between her teeth- she thinks she's so cute, and she's right.

"So…" I can't believe that her hands running down my chest and toying with my fly have reduced me to grunts. "You don't experience lust?"

"I said it was rare."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, Rose, you're a rarity. Congratulations."

"You don't have to get sarcastic. I could just leave-"

I'm definitely kissing her to distract her from that entire conversation because, honestly, I don't want to think about how easily I've given in to her challenge.

She groans as I step into her. She nips at my lip as she pulls away. As adorable as a lock of hair in her eyes is, I'd rather watch. She leans into my touch as my fingers brush her temple. Of course she liked that last time. It's so intimate, so powerful. She leans in and kisses me again and I can't help myself. I'm plunging into her, shuddering against her surprise and pleasure.

It doesn't take long, between the years of foreplay and my mind overwhelming hers, before her orgasm hits hard. I can feel the millions of sensations exploding in her mind and it's almost as torturous as her muscles spasming around me.

So close. The pressure is coiling in the pit of my stomach. Almost…

Oh god…

She's stroking my cheek when I'm finally able to pull out of her mind and regain my focus. She's grinning at me. I've been waiting for this- the 'I told you so' moment- for days. Here it comes.

"I think-" Her breath is so warm. I've officially decided that I like the feel of her fingers stroking through my hair. "That it's time for that shower."

Shower? Rose in the shower.

I just whimpered. I actually whimpered. I've never whimpered in my life.

She pushes me back a little, enough to slide off the console. I hold her up for just a minute, letting her wobbly legs get used to supporting her weight before she slides her hand down my chest as she walks away.

Oh… she is so walking away like that on purpose. Oh, she is… she is mean. That's just… not fair. I think I might need my own shower. A cold one. Ice cold.

Well, guess that throws reason number fifteen out the proverbial window. Lust is… lust is definitely there.


	5. Bad Ideas

_Author's Note: _So, funny story... I posted the wrong chapter yesterday. Whoops. I posted chapter five (this one) when I meant to post chapter four. That's been fixed- the real chapter four is up and I've moved this chapter to its proper place. Sorry, I've honestly never done anything like that. But, I have a feeling that you'll forgive me considering this is your second chapter in two days. Enjoy!

/-/-

Rexar V was a bad idea. Very bad idea. Well, a good idea and very fun… but bad. Very bad.

Never again are we going to a hot planet. Nope. Not even a warm one. Not one that she would even consider wearing something short. Something like that.

No, from now on we are travelling only where the temperature is below zero. Freezing weather, with a windshield factor that is ridiculously low. A place where she'll have to wear thermals and snow shoes and a big, huge, unrevealing parka and a scarf that hides those pouty lips. The Calidorus System is definitely next.

Oh god, I must sound like a nutter. Good thing it's only me in here. Well, me and the TARDIS. I think- I hope she's used to me by now.

Anyway, hot planets are bad. Because the minute she hears that it's tepid outside she rushes to find shorts and that tank top looking thing and that wrappy thing- whatever its called. I don't care because it's revealing- very revealing. And very nice to look at.

Oh my god, she's reduced me to a hormonal teenager! Or at least a horny twenty-year-old. Neither of which is flattering.

Anyway, that's only half the reason that hot planets are bad. Because humans are so sensitive to heat and always so readily perspiring to cool themselves down. I've never noticed what a healthy sheen of sweat can do for her features.

And, of course, the real problem: ice cream. According to her, ice cream is always a must on a hot day. And so we bought ice cream cones on our way back to the TARDIS and that's where the real problem comes from.

Because she's licking it, her tongue taking its sweet time to caress all the way around the edge before swirling around the tip. There's a stray bit left on her bottom lip and her tongue snakes out to catch it. And then there's the way her eyes are hooded, half opened to watch but really wanting to close as the waves of delicious chocolate assault her senses.

I've spent the better part of our walk wondering what chocolate ice cream would taste like on her lips and tongue. Better yet, what it would taste like mingling with the lingering taste of vanilla on my own lips.

Taste has, by far, been my favourite sense this time around and I can't help but wonder what so much else would taste like. The salty sweat at the base of her neck. The chocolate on her lips. And something so much more Rose. I want to taste her there. I want-

Stop thinking.

…

…

Not working. Bloody ice cream- lucky bugger.

"Something amusing, Doctor?"

"Hmm?"

"You're smirking out into space."

"Oh… em, no, nothing. Just thinking."

"Bout what?"

Don't listen to the smirking and the tongue poking out and the fluttery eyelashes. "Nothing."

Nicely done.

Okay, deep breath, open the TARDIS door, and forget about it. Finish the ice cream as quickly as possible and get lost somewhere on the TARDIS far away from Rose.

"So, where are we off to now?"

Oh god, she's sucking the top of ice cream. She's probably swirling her tongue around. There are much better things for-

"Going? Em… the Calidorus System. Bit nippy, but I think you'll like it there."

"Oh yeah?"

Don't let the tongue distract you. Don't…

Yeah, that's not going to work.

"Oi, you want some tea?"

"Sure."

Sure? What happened to hiding on the TARDIS?

She's starting to bite off the edges of her cone by the time we make it back to kitchen and I've decided that it's safer to just chuck the remainder of my cone into the bin.

I'm sure there was some kind of conversation going on as I prepared the tea and as we sat there drinking, but I have absolutely no idea what it was that we talked about, because every once of my concentration was centered on that pink tongue darting out and lapping up the remains of her ice cream.

Oh, sod it.

She's surprised when I lean forward to press my lips to hers- and why shouldn't she be? This isn't part of her cunning little dare. This isn't a plan she concocted in her head. This isn't supposed to be happening.

And yet I'm too intrigued to pull away. Because, just by running my tongue over her lips, I can taste the lingering remnants of her chocolate ice cream. Far better than the real thing in my opinion.

But I want to know more. To taste more. It doesn't take much to coax her lips into opening, letting me in. The taste of chocolate is everywhere- coating her teeth and freezing her tongue. But there's more. Just a hint of tea from the few sips she's taken. And something else-

But I don't really have time to think about it because she's finally recovered from her shock and she's joining in on the tasting. I wonder what I taste like to her. I wonder what the combination of chocolate and vanilla and tea is like mingling against her senses.

It doesn't take long for her hands to push off my jacket and pull off my tie or for me to untie the shirt-thing (whatever it's called) from around her chest. She tastes like salt and pheromones as I trail kisses along her jaw and down her neck, taking my time once I reached the nape of her neck. She's sighing into my ear- oh, that shouldn't be so tempting.

Her hands are running down my shoulders, fumbling with the buttons. No, not a good idea there. What the hell am I saying? I'm snogging her and she's barely half dressed and her unbuttoning a few buttons is a bad idea? I've got issues.

Even so, I bat her hands away and continue to assault her neck. She sighs, half in protest, half not. That's it- I've got to taste her.

She doesn't protest as I bring her on the floor. I'm barely touching her as I lay next to her, one hand trailing from her neck, between her breasts, and along her flat stomach. She's just watching, a somewhat bemused smile playing over her face. I wonder what she's thinking. Probably something along the lines of: 'The Doctor has officially gone off his rocker'. But it doesn't really matter, because she's not pushing me away.

In fact she's pulling me to her, forcing my body against hers. And she's kissing me, harder and more furiously than ever before. All I can do is respond to her nips and thrusts and moans. Her hands are reaching for my shirt again and I have to pull away, reminding myself that I need to move her hands away.

And that's when I move, adjusting myself so that I'm straddling her legs, my fingers tugging at the zipper. She sighs in protest, but adjusts herself, resting her right hand beneath her head to make it more comfortable against the kitchen floor and her left hand was flattened over her stomach. God, she looks sexy as hell like that- partly naked, lips swollen, her fingers softly toying with her own flesh, eyes burning into me.

I'm watching her eyes, waiting for any sign that she wants me to stop. But I knew it was never going to be there. Impatience is clear, though. I can't help but smirk at that.

I turn my attention back to my hands as they slide over her hips and drag both her shorts and knickers off in one easy motion. When I look up, she's half-bare, except for her white tank top that's been pulled up and hides only her chest from sight. Depressing, but not urgent.

"You've still got all your clothes on. 's not fair."

As much as she's right and as much as I'd like to, I know this isn't going to go that way. It's easier to just ignore her tease.

Easier to plant a kiss on her hip and swirl my tongue around to distract her- and the way she squirms lets me know that I've accomplished just that. But her thighs are a bit more attractive at the moment. After so many months with me, being chased by aliens and running for our lives, her thighs are sculpted beautifully. For a moment, I'm pretty content to just trail my fingers along her inner thighs. Okay, that's a lie. There are much better things to be doing.

Oh, when did I start to want this so badly?

And that's when I taste her. Easing my tongue between her folds, it moves slowly up and down in long, wide strokes along her slit. She tastes of strawberries and honey and there's a hint of something far more distinctive- something uniquely a mixture of Rose and time. And it's fantastic. More than I've ever imagined.

She's groaning and bucking her hips, annoyed that I'm ignoring where she wants me to stroke. My hands go to her hips, gripping her thick muscles, holding her still. My whole mouth descends on that spot, my tongue drawling circles around it, barely touching it, just enough to make her moan and arch her back into the floor.

She whimpers at me. Humans- such pathetic lung capacity that she hasn't even recovered from earlier yet. I know what she wants- I can practically hear her screaming in her mind for me to increase my pace, but this is far more divine. Torturing her slowly as I trace another circle around her clit. She's struggling hopelessly against my hands again and that's why I look up at her. She's trying to keep her breathing normal; she grinning down at me, her tongue poking out of the side and I'll bet it's just because she knows now what it does to me.

Well if she's going to play coy, then maybe I'll just divert my attention. So many tastes to discover. For example, her left thigh seems most delicious. And it is. There's just the slightest hint of salt from our day's excursion and time- the taste of time permeates every fibre of her body and it's wonderful. More than that-

Oh, I can't completely ignore her. She sighs as my thumb grazes her entrance but honestly I'm more interested in sucking and biting at the tender flesh. My thumb dips in her, for just a moment, before pulling out. Because it really is too much fun to hear her groan in protest. She's writhing in need, her hips bucking against my hold, and even I can't take this anymore.

My tongue flicks her clit because I've discovered that I like the way her entire body shivers. And that alone is enough to have me slip my hands beneath her, shifting her so I can scrap my teeth against her clit. I honestly have to say that I love the taste of her- the taste of time dripping off of her. My tongue is darting in and out of her slit, tasting her, curving my lips around to suck on her folds.

Just to hear the way she's moaning against the feel of my tongue and sighing out my name is worth it. Worth breaking the rules. Worth ripping away every emotional block and façade.

I can't believe I'm saying it, but I am.

Her hands have been uselessly grabbing for the floor this entire time but as her control slips away, her fingers thread through my hair. My first finger caresses her opening before slipping inside her just as my mouth latches onto her clit. But it's not enough; my middle finger joins my first.

It doesn't take long before I feel her exploding around me, muscles spasming and hips flexing up away from the floor, and her hands gripping my hair painfully. But that doesn't matter because her delicious fluids are spilling out and I'm content to taste every drop as my tongue strokes her, easing her down off her high.

I can't help but watch her face the entire time, noting the way her lips are parted and faint gasps for air dictate her chest's erratic movements, the way her eyes flicker between open and closed. I love it.

And I shouldn't. I really shouldn't be looking at her like this, looking at her while she looks like this. I shouldn't be making her look like this. So many shouldn't's…

Reason fifteen is rubbish. I'm crossing it off. Lust is fun. Lust is… impossible to ignore with Rose around. But no more ice cream. Definitely no more ice cream.

And short skirts.


	6. Reason Twenty Three: In Laws

_Author's Note: _Finally, the chapter I know you've been waiting for: the Powell Estates! Enjoy!

/-/-

It's been about two weeks since that first night. Ten days since that day in the control room. Four since the ice cream incident.

And not once over the span of two weeks has Rose approached with even a glimmer of that 'Doctor, I think we need to talk' look in her eye. I'm starting to think I need to amend reason twenty-seven:

Snogging companions will always led to an awkward conversation. Shagging companions will just led to more shagging… which is bad.

I only mention this as a way to keep my mind off of what I just agreed to do. At breakfast, Rose absently mentioned that it had been quite some time since we had visited her mum. She doesn't just come right out and say things like, "Hey, let's go visit mum" too often, she just hints at it. And, like the fool I am, I don't throw out some exciting story about a meteor storm or a super nova or something that might have distracted her. Nope, instead I said, "Oi, then what are we waiting for? London, it is!"

See, any other time in my experience with Rose, I would have said that without pause. Today, I reacted like I would have any other day. It wasn't until about seven minutes ago that it hit me.

Rose's mum. Rose's mum is a mum. Mums know things. They know everything. Jackie probably knows missile codes and secret passwords for who knows what just because she's a mum with weird, mum powers.

Jackie's going to know the minute we walk through the door that I've slept with Rose. I'm dead. I'm beyond dead. I'm dead and regenerated until I'm actually dead and then she'll cut me up into little pieces and feed me to the stray cats.

"You coming, Doctor?"

"Right. Yeah. Coming."

Jackie's always too excited about hearing us land to really notice me. She'll rush after Rose, hugging and chattering excitedly about something or other that someone or other did. And, after a bit, she'll smile my way and offer us tea up in her flat. I'm safe, for a while. Safe until we sit down to start drinking tea. That's when she'll noticed. That's when she'll be relaxed enough to sense _it_.

Which is right about now. I'm smiling up at her as she hands me my tea and silently I'm praying that the entire story isn't playing through my eyes. She just sits down, oblivious.

"So what have you too be up to recently?" Oh god, I hope she didn't notice that I nearly burnt myself with my tea.

Rose certainly managed to keep her cool. She just blathered on about some of the planets we'd been off to and the adventures- mind you, edited. She even had the gull to talk about Earth in the twenty-seventh century, which I'll remind you led to the control room shag. I really hope neither of them have been paying attention to me.

I manage to make it all the way through tea without Jackie ripping out my guts. Good start.

"Oh, bollocks! I just realizes that I haven't been to the store recently. Didn't know to expect company. Honestly, why do you have that mobile of yours, I'll never understand. I'll have to run down and get something for supper tonight."

"Want me to go, mum?"

"No, no, you stay and relax. I'll be back in a tick. How does pasta sound?"

"Good."

"Doctor, pasta all right?"

I just nod. Nodding's good. Nodding doesn't involve talking, during which I might blurt out something stupid like, oh I don't know, 'I shagged your daughter on the TARDIS control panel' or 'I ate her out in the kitchen because it was just too tempting' or something like that. Yeah, nodding's good.

"You okay, Doctor?" Rose asks just as the door closes behind her mother. "You seem kind of… nervous?"

Oi, she's smirking at me. The cheek! She knows exactly what I've been feeling this entire time. "Yes, I'm nervous. Do you know what you're mother'll do if she ever finds out?" She just laughs at that and I have the urge to reach out and shut her up. But that would be bad, because kissing her is the only option I'm coming up with. Kissing in Jackie's flat is definitely not a good idea. No, it's a very, very bad idea.

Her hand's in my hair, running through it and messing it up. I spent a lot of time this morning fixing it. My hair is very testy now. Although, it is very ruffle-able, I'll give her that.

"Have I ever mentioned that I really like your new hair?"

"What? I had old hair?"

At least she's smirking at that and shaking her head. I can't help it now- I need to kiss her. Just once, just lightly. Just enough to taste the lingering flavour of tea on her lips.

But she's got her own opinions on the matter and she wants to taste more. I love that she racks a hand through my hair and pulls me closer. I love the feel of her hip beneath my hand. I love the slight pain her teeth cause as she nips at my lower lip.

I might hate myself in a few minutes when my brain gets a bit more oxygen, but I need her closer and pulling her into my lap is the only way I know how to do that. She chuckles against my lips and scraps her nails along my neck. They're trailing lower, playing with my jacket, and I know that's the reason why I should stop this.

But now she's sighing against my lips, shifting more comfortably into my lap and maybe this doesn't have to stop. Maybe we can make this fast, before her mother gets here-

Oh, shit, Jackie. She'll be home soon. Actually I'm not sure how long ago she left.

Hmm, curious, when did Rose's lips leave mine? Oh who cares? She's found that spot behind my ear-

No, wait, there was a reason why we should stop.

"Rose." Thankfully, she stops teasing my earlobe at the sound of her name and I use that as an opportunity to pull her face back to where I can see her eyes. "We really should talk about this."

"I thought we had."

Oi, the cheek! But I'm pretty much past that now seeing as she's poking her tongue out from behind her teeth and her eyebrows are raised just slightly. She can't begin to imagine how sexy she looks when she does that- on second thought, she probably does know, that's why she does it.

"Not very well. And that was before…"

"Before?"

"Before." When did she learn to be such a tease?

"Ah, yes, before when you said that you don't feel lust."

"I said I rarely feel lust."

"Mmhmm… well, if the past two weeks have told me anything, you don't rarely feel lust at all. It's quite a frequent occurrence, actually."

"Not my fault you've been provoking it with those clothes of yours and that poor ice cream cone."

"Poor ice cream cone?"

"Okay, it was a lucky bastard. Can we get back to the topic?"

"You, staying on topic?"

The cheek is just on full blast today, isn't it? Did I teach her that?

"As I recall, one of your main arguments was that you can't keep up with a human's needs. I think you're doing quite well at that. Keeping up with my needs." I've never heard her do that before, accent a word by rolling it around her mouth, stringing it out in such a way that triggers the impulse to dive into her mouth and feel the word resonating in there.

"That wasn't-" Is that really my voice? Those hoarse, over-sexed sounding words? "That wasn't the only reason. We can start with your mum and certain death."

"You're overreacting. She'll just smack you a bit."

"Thanks. Comforting. Rose, seriously though," she sobers a bit at that and I can't help but raise a hand to brush a lock of hair behind her ear. "With the life I lead, I can't offer you the kind of future you'll want. I can't settle down, get married, and have the two point three children. I can't."

"I don't want that."

"You don't want it now. You're young. But eventually. You're human, after all."

"I want you." She's stroking my cheek and there's such an intensity in her eyes that I have to close mine and lean into her touch, letting it soothe me into believing her.

"I know."

"I told you: you're stuck with me forever."

"Never say forever."

"Well, I'm saying it. I'm with you 'til my last breath."

"And then you'll leave me. My forever is so much longer than yours. I don't-" She's so human. Thinking that as long as I don't say it, as long as she pushes the thought far enough into the back of her mind, it won't mean anything. It won't be looming just off in our future.

But, I guess, some aspects of humanity aren't that bad. And maybe she's worth it. Maybe she's worth the pain and the heartbreak and the hardships. Maybe sixties years of memories are worth the three hundred years of grief.

And maybe I shouldn't be letting her kiss me, letting her silence me, letting this conversation fade into the furthest recess of our minds where we'll let it sit and stew and perhaps die out until it can jump out and scream 'I told you so!'.

But there are a lot of things I shouldn't do and we all know how well that's been going over for me.

"Oi! I really don't care what the two of you get up to in that box of yours, but you could at least restrain yourselves when you're sitting on my couch!"

I'm quite positive that nothing in this universe- not invading Cybermen or the entire Dalek fleet- could terrify me any more than Jackie Tyler just did in that moment.

Oh my god, Jackie just saw me snogging her daughter. Jackie knows. She knows what Rose and I have been up to. She knows! Oh I am so fucked. I am beyond fucked. I'm-

And she's laughing! She actually has the audacity to laugh about this! We're snogging in her mum's flat and Jackie is standing there, gawking at us, and what does she do in the face of my ultimate death- she laughs!

See, that's why I made reason twenty-three: in-laws. Nothing worse than that.


	7. Reasons 12 through 14

_Author's Note: _Sorry this one is short and long awaited but I was having a bit of trouble thinking it through. Enjoy!

/-/-

Dancing! I can dance. Seriously. Okay, well not really. Not this kind of dancing.

But this is what she wanted. Royalty, elegance, good food and a bit of dancing. So here we are, enjoying our time as "guests" of the Duma of Rushic IV.

God, she is beautiful in that dress. Open back, letting the eye wander all the way down along her spine, interrupted only by the loose ties holding it together. It slopes far enough down to show everything right up to that spot on her lower back where I love to rest my hand. It's black, curving around her lush hips and falling over her thighs.

I need something to drink. No idea what this red stuff is but it's close enough to red wine to be tasty.

She's smirking over at me and I smile back. 'Having fun?' I mouth to her and she nods.

'You?'

Not really, enough. More fun watching her enjoy herself.

The front of her dress is even better. The dress is sleeveless with only one strap angling across her chest, leaving her shoulders bare. She's tilting her head just to the side, waiting for me to respond and all that does is make me loose focus more. Her hair is pulled up but a few golden curls have purposely fallen against the soft nape of her neck. It's tempting as hell to wrap my arms around her waist and nibble there-

'Yeah,' I nod back at her. She doesn't have a drink with her and I hold mine up, pointing at it and then at her, shrugging my shoulder as a way to ask the question. She just shakes her head in response and I tilt my head in a way to say 'whatever'.

'Come dance with me.'

'I can't.' She rolls her eyes in response and I sigh. 'What about him?' I ask, nodding my chin in the direction of some rich snob she's been dancing with for most of the night.

She glances over at him and he smiles. I try not to notice it, try not to notice the way it makes my stomach twist, try not to let my cheek muscles tighten in response. Because it's not my place to be like that. Because Humans and Time Lords have completely different views on what a "relationship" is. Because Humans get jealous, not Time Lords. Because reasons twelve through fourteen say that this shouldn't be bothering me.

She makes an awkward gesture- half between a roll of the eyes and a shrug. 'He's tired.'

'Wore him out.'

'Oh yeah,' she rolls her eyes at that.

The snob's moving now, coming over to speak with her again. I would prefer not to watch them talking or dancing any more but all I can focus on instead is the floor just by her feet. Which leads me to her feet- the soft, delicately white skin of her feet encased in the strappy, black heels she had found to match her dress. She even took the time to paint her toenails red for the occasion. Her feet inevitably lead to her smooth, flawless legs- toned calves and half hidden thighs. Her dress is angled at the bottom, leaving half of one thigh to taunt me while hiding the other as the material falls to just below her knee.

She catches my eye again- god, I hope she didn't notice my eyes wandering- and holds up a finger, her head titling towards the dance floor to let me know that she just wants one final dance. I nod and smile as the snob takes her hand.

Maybe I should have asked her for a dance. It can't be that hard to figure out all of the steps. Rose is picking it up well enough. But I can't. There's a reason why I can't, I'm sure, I just don't honestly know what it might be.

There really isn't anything else to do but chat up some of the old men sitting in the corner or pop in and out of random conversations, draining the rest of my glass as I wait. It isn't until the third song ends and I still can't seem to find her in the crowd when I begin to worry. She wouldn't have just left without telling me and certainly she wouldn't have just wondered off to stroll in the gardens with that pretty boy snob.

Or maybe she would have. See! Reason fourteen, invented for a reason! That sounds stupid. Jealous! Humans get jealous. They pound the shit out of each other. They enact revenge and do stupid things for stupid reasons. Not Time Lords. Not me. And yet, here I am, angrily searching the crowds for her because I was too much of a coward to ask her to dance.

She's fine. She's probably just getting some fresh air, having a nice chat with that pretty boy about the local culture-

Oh shit! Local culture!

How do I always manage to forget the obvious!

He's royalty, Rose is an unwed woman. She agreed to dance with him. Shit!

Shit, shit, shit, shit!


	8. Only Reason That Matters

I could kill him!

I should have killed him!

Bastard! Thinking he could have Rose! Rape Rose, more like it! Damn, fucking royalty. Damn fucking Rushic IV!

Why didn't I kill him!? I should have!

God damn it! She had to wonder off! She had to go dancing! I had to go forgetting about local culture!

Fuck!

I should probably loosen my hold on her hand but I can't. We've got to run faster. They're getting closer. The TARDIS is growing closer.

Shit! Crashed into the damn door.

I need her. I need to feel her. To know that she's really there with me. That I haven't lost her. Again. Forever. Permanently.

I'm pushing her hard against the door now that we're safely inside. I shouldn't be this rough but I can't stop myself. My lips are hard against hers, bruising them I'm sure. My tongue is pushing against hers, lunging deep into her, sucking every molecule of air from her lungs. My hips are crushing into hers, grinding her into the wall. My hands are tangled in her hair and I'm sure that I'm pulling just a little too hard as I angle her face where I want it.

As much as I hate it, there is truly only so long I can go without breathing. Her chest is heaving when I break away from her lips, pressing them against her jaw, trailing down her neck, biting and sucking until I reach that exposed expanse of luscious skin that had been taunting me all night. My hips are still pushing against hers and my hands are now gripping hard at her bum, pulling her even closer and my teeth are scrapping and biting at the nape of her neck, my lips sucking hard.

Too hard.

Her strangled cry snaps me back. She's trembling, her chest heaving in a desperate attempt to fill her lungs and her legs are shaking, only my possessive grip has kept her from collapsing. When I finally bring my eyes to find hers, they're tear-stained, blotchy red with light streaks of black. Her swollen lips are parted in shock and confusion.

"Oh god, Rose." I loosen my grip, wrapping my arms around hers and pulling her to me, cradling her head in the crook of my neck. "I'm so sorry, Rose. I'm sorry."

Sorry doesn't cover it. It really doesn't. God, what was I thinking!? I'm an idiot! See, this is why. Right here. What emotions I can relate to humans aren't good. They're too strong. Too powerful. Too confusing.

Reluctantly, I move away from her, slipping my hand into hers and tugging her along. She's still shaking a little, but she follows, calm enough. I lead her to her room, knowing that she needs the familiar surroundings. She just stands there when I release her hand. She doesn't say anything, just watches as I bring my hands to her shoulders, my fingers lingering over the dark bruise forming on her neck, and help push the cloth off her shoulder. The dark material pools at her feet and dumbly she steps out of it. My hands stray over her shoulders again, running over her arms and around to her back, removing her bra. They trailed down along her sides, hooking my thumbs through the elastic of her knickers, sliding them down as I lower myself to my knees. Her lovely strappy shoes are a pain to get off, but I manage.

She was just watching, mutely. Her hand slips into mine as I offer it to her, leading her slowly to her private bathroom just off to the side. I twist the tap, letting it run for a moment as it warms. She just watches again, still mute and slightly trembling, as I strip quickly, chucking my clothes out into her room. The water is finally warm and I lead her under the spray. She tenses, as if shocked into life.

Finally she seems to notice what is happening. Her arms reach around my neck, pulling her face into my chest. I can't tell if she's crying or if that's just water, but her shoulders are shaking and her legs are trembling again and all I can do is hold her until her shoulders still and her breathing evens out.

I pull back, cupping her cheeks and planting a kiss on her forehead before I reach for the soap, lathering her body, washing away the worry and fear and pain of the day, letting it all drain away with the suds.

She kisses me then, soft, scared, desperate. I know how she feels. Terrified that this isn't real. Fearing that one day this will all end. Because it will and we both know that. But it's much better to pretend that it won't.

It's much easier to pretend, to turn her around and pull her body against me, kissing her shoulder after the water washed away the suds. It's easier to run my fingers over her stomach, over the smooth expanse of pale skin, dipping just low enough to tease the dark curls. It's easier for her to arch back into me, to lean her head back against my chest and for me to rest my chin against her temple.

The water's off. I hardly noticed reaching out to switch off the tab. I grab the pink fluffy towel just outside the curtain because I know it's her favourite. She looks so perfect with tiny beads of water gliding down her soft skin. I almost feel guilty dabbing them off her. She sighs when I get to her hair, squeezing as much water from it as I can. The towel slides from my hands and I pull her hair back out of her face, twisting it up to keep it back. And, for good measure, I kiss her shoulder, letting my hands linger on her arms before reaching for a towel to dry myself off. She's already left by the time I turn around.

She's laying in bed by the time I step outside and I can't help myself. She looks gorgeous. The picture of beauty, lush expanse of still damp skin, hair dark from its dampness and falling over her chest, eyes dark, breasts rising and falling.

"Doctor, come to me."

I wish I could see the expression on my face because it can't just be the soft smile playing on my lips that has softened her features so much.

I kneel on the bed next to her, watching my fingers trail over the ridges of her stomach and up the valley between her breasts. God, I love the feel of her skin. Much warmer against my cool hands. But, I think, I just might love the feel of her silky hair better. I certainly love tucking all the loose strands back behind her ear.

Or maybe it's her eyes that I love the most. She has such beautiful eyes. Brown eyes are so warm, so deep and inviting. And hers are always sparkling with a childish curiosity and boundless enthusiasm. They're not now, though. Still deep, still warm and enticing, but not excited. Scared and hurt and worried- mostly worried. Worried that one day we'll really be separated when not even my genius and sonic screwdriver can break down the barrier.

I need to kiss her, need to feel her alive beneath me, need to feel these thoughts slip away.

Maybe it's her pouty lips that I love the most. So soft and supple, so eager to respond. But neither of us is in a hurry tonight. The kiss is long and languid, tongues gently exploring rather than dominating.

It's very likely that tasting her skin is my favourite thing. Salt mixed with the tangy flavour of hormones and something a bit much more muted. Time- its taste has coated her skin after all her years with me.

Her hands are running along my spine, pressing gently enough to tell me to shift off my knees and lie beside her. My lips are still peppering her face with kisses- her chin, her cheek, her jaw, her temple, her nose, her eyes.

Her sigh. I do love her sigh. The soft gasp of breath that caresses my cheek, the way her eyes become hooded.

I definitely love her neck. Love running my nose along the arch of her neck. Love nuzzling my face into the hair by her ear and breathing in her scent. Love nibbling at the sensitive skin below her ear. Love the way she sighs again and tilts her head away to give me more access. Love kissing her throbbing pulse and the nape of her neck. And I love marking her there, biting just hard enough to bruise. But I've already done that earlier and now I just kiss it softly, apologizing for my roughness.

Oh, but I'm sure there are other things that I like tasting too. The curve of her clavicle. The rough expanse of her sternum. The lush mounds of her breasts. The tantalizing way she moans and arches into me when my lips find her nipples. The wonderful feel of her hands tangling through my hair, massaging my scalp, as she struggles to control her breathing.

"Doctor…"

My name slipping past her swollen lips- undeniably my favourite. It nearly makes me want to tell her my real name. Almost, but not really. Doctor is much better.

Oh, there are so many reasons why I should just hold her now, until all of the bad memories fade away and all of this is just a distant pain. Why I should take her home at the first chance and forget about her, push the memories of her and the gentle tinge of lust in the back of my mind and move on, as I always do.

So many reasons…

Because we think of relationships and emotions and all that crap so differently.

Because she wants a husband and a life and possibly children and those are all things I can't give her.

Because Humans are young and impressionable and they jump to conclusions and think too rashly.

Because I'm nine hundred and she's nineteen.

Because of the things I've seen and done.

Because of the things she's had to see and do since she met me.

Because she'll die eventually. Or she'll leave, because they always do. One way or another, they always leave.

Because Humans don't have forever.

Because even Time Lords don't have a forever.

And yet, I don't care. Because, despite all of the reasons and all of the rationalizations and everything that's telling me that pressing up against her and kissing her is wrong, I love her. God that's scary. Me, in love? For real in love?

And that's why, as my hands stray along her sides and down to her hips, I open my mind to her, letting her feel me. Everything. The love and the fear and the worry and the laughter. Letting her know that, for as long as I'm holding her, there's a forever.

And that's one damn good reason for getting rid of all those others.

/-/-

Well, this is it, the final chapter. I hope you enjoyed it! I loved writing this one. Cheers, JD!


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